Silence Those Inferior Thoughts.

I literally can not stop crying. This is so strange. Natanya is the fifth person to pass away while I was in high school :\ This hit me so much harder than all the others did though. I knew her. We were friends. Not great friends, but we talked. She was always ridiculously nice to me. I’ve gone to school with her forever, well up until highschool. We were in the same homeroom is sixth grade. We had classes together. I still can’t actually accept the fact that she’s gone now. I’m sick of hearing all of the uncertain stories everyone has about her death. Every single one just freaks me out. Every time I heard one I just wanted to start bawling again, which I did fourth block when we had an official announcement about her </3 
Everyone thought it was a joke at first. I got so many texts. I immediately started crying when I was sure it was her. I feel so bad, it’s weird. I feel like I shouldn’t feel as awful as I do, because I didn’t know Natanya super well like her close friends did. They obviously must be a mess, but I am too, and I don’t know how to handle it. I don’t even know. This whole thing is a mess. I can’t even organize my thoughts. I can’t even begin to imagine how her best friend feels. or her boyfriend who got in a fight with her not long before it happened. Or her parents who supposedly kicked her out a few days ago. I can’t even comprehend this. I don’t want to cry anymore. I want to be able to celebrate her life. but I’m just too damn sad right now, and nothings helping at all. I just want to sleep. I’m not hungry at all.
God. Natanya was such a good person. She was just so great, and she’s already so missed. I know she’ll be in everyone’s heart forever. I just hope shes better where she is now than she was down here </333 
Rest easy babygirl, you’ll never be forgotten*