Last night, I crossed something off my life list. 5. Write secrets (or inspirational things) on balloons and let them go.It certainly wasn’t the way I wanted it to happen, but it did. Last night we all gathered on the bridge over the train where Natanya passed. We lit candlesnext to her memorial (which was beautifullll, her best friend did an amazing job with it<3) and we lit this mini hot air balloon  witha candle it set it free. We bought over a hundred pink balloons and passed them out to everyone who came. Some people wrote notes or memories on them, some didn’t. I did, I wrote a long note to Natanya about everything I was feeling, and how much I’d miss her and just everything. I cried in the process. but it was good. I can’t even gather my thoughts for this. But yes. so, we waited for the train to go by to let them go. It was devestating. The train was in sight and the police came and finally blocked off the bridge so cars couldn’t pass through us anymore. There were so so so many kids there, so many people love her. I really hope she knew, or knows now. As soon as the train passed under us, we set the balloons free, and everyone immediately broke down :\ It took me so long to stop crying. We all completely lost control and we all hugged each other, even the people that I never liked before. We all came together and showed how much we’ll miss her and that we’ll never forget her. Natanya Dumais, it’s all for you <3Today, was the wake. I went to the first session? for it. I parked, and I couldn’t move. I couldn’t even touch the handle to get out my car. I sat and i broke down in the parking lot. I was so terrified to go in. I just couldn’t do it. I left. I took a break. and I went to the second one at six. It was hard, but I had a hand to hold, and I was okay. It was open casket, and even after seeing her, it just didn’t seem real. I still expect her to just walk up to me in the store and for everything to be normal again. It’s just completely crazy. I had to go to Driver’s Ed directly afterwards. I cried most of the class, trying to conceal it from everyone. But people asked if I was okay and I said yes. I didn’t want to talk about it. After class, while I was waiting to sign out, a girl, who I don’t know, walked up to me and told me to never forget that she’ll always be here for me. It was so nice <3 Tomorrow, is the funeral. I’m skipping school to go. I’m just going to cry the entire time. It’ll be a rough day, but I’m going to stay strong for natanya, and for cheyenne. She needs it.

Last night, I crossed something off my life list.
5. Write secrets (or inspirational things) on balloons and let them go.
It certainly wasn’t the way I wanted it to happen, but it did. Last night we all gathered on the bridge over the train where Natanya passed. We lit candlesnext to her memorial (which was beautifullll, her best friend did an amazing job with it<3) and we lit this mini hot air balloon  witha candle it set it free. We bought over a hundred pink balloons and passed them out to everyone who came. Some people wrote notes or memories on them, some didn’t. I did, I wrote a long note to Natanya about everything I was feeling, and how much I’d miss her and just everything. I cried in the process. but it was good. I can’t even gather my thoughts for this. But yes. so, we waited for the train to go by to let them go. It was devestating. The train was in sight and the police came and finally blocked off the bridge so cars couldn’t pass through us anymore. There were so so so many kids there, so many people love her. I really hope she knew, or knows now. As soon as the train passed under us, we set the balloons free, and everyone immediately broke down :\ It took me so long to stop crying. We all completely lost control and we all hugged each other, even the people that I never liked before. We all came together and showed how much we’ll miss her and that we’ll never forget her. Natanya Dumais, it’s all for you <3

Today, was the wake. I went to the first session? for it. I parked, and I couldn’t move. I couldn’t even touch the handle to get out my car. I sat and i broke down in the parking lot. I was so terrified to go in. I just couldn’t do it. I left. I took a break. and I went to the second one at six. It was hard, but I had a hand to hold, and I was okay. It was open casket, and even after seeing her, it just didn’t seem real. I still expect her to just walk up to me in the store and for everything to be normal again. It’s just completely crazy. I had to go to Driver’s Ed directly afterwards. I cried most of the class, trying to conceal it from everyone. But people asked if I was okay and I said yes. I didn’t want to talk about it. After class, while I was waiting to sign out, a girl, who I don’t know, walked up to me and told me to never forget that she’ll always be here for me. It was so nice <3 Tomorrow, is the funeral. I’m skipping school to go. I’m just going to cry the entire time. It’ll be a rough day, but I’m going to stay strong for natanya, and for cheyenne. She needs it.